Below is an approximate transcript of last Tuesday's lesson. It's
done from memory, so I'm certain I've left out or misrepresented some
important material. Please let me know if you remember anything
specific which I should change or include.
I would like to publish this transcript on the web
so that I can get critical feedback on it from more experienced
teachers. It mentions no names, just initials, but please let me know
if you're uncomfortable with that, and I will edit out your involvement.
I've decided that at this stage a syllabus for the
class would be a bad idea. It is still going to be about using Buddhist
techniques to shift our relationship with disturbing habits, which as I
said last week is really a form of conflict resolution, and the thing
with conflict resolution is that you never know how it's going to end
up. So I will keep choosing topics which relate to what's come up so
far.
This coming Tuesday, we will talk about using the
breath/joy meditation from last Tuesday in making an initial shift in a
habit, and then study a compassion meditation for use with any reactions
that shift triggers.
Best regards,
Alex
******************************
Summary of class, from memory:
First of all, I want to thank "G" for providing this space for us to
practice in. It was very kind of her, and it's a perfect environment
for this kind of work.
Basic breath meditation instructions: Rest attention on the breath,
when you notice it's wandered, bring it back. "Rest attention" doesn't
mean focus. As long as there is some awareness of the breath, you are
doing fine. It's only when you've gone off into some other world that
you should bring it back.
[10 minutes breath meditation]
A: I would like to record this class, and publish it on the net. Ken
records and publishes all of his talks, and they are an incredibly
useful resource. But sometimes I have been reticent about
participating because I don't want something up on the web. Even
though it's not connected to my full identity, it's still my voice
there. So I was thinking, here's the recording device, we'll pass it
around as we talk. Anyone who doesn't want something recorded, just
turn it off and pass it back to me. I'll turn it back on when we
move off the topic.
R: Sounds a bit distracting.
A: I see what you mean. I will figure out a smoother way for next time.
J: I'd like to just let that go for a few classes, to see how it goes.
A: OK, let's talk about it again in a couple of weeks. We'll leave it
for now. Let's go around the room, and talk about why we're here,
any questions you are bringing to the class, any habits you are
thinking of working on. I'll start: I'm here because I love talking
about this stuff and helping people with it. I wander the internet
looking for opportunities to do so and it's always a buzz when I find
someone. I've fantasized about teaching a class on it for a few
years, and this is it.
G: Has been attending a weekly Tibetan Buddhist meditation group for a
while, would like a more solid personal practice, has been
considering a challenge from a friend to avoid complaining about
anything for 21 days.
J: Been exploring meditation through a number of avenues, would like a
more solid practice.
H: Learned about Ken McLeod from "A" a few years ago. Would like to be
less addicted to browsing the internet.
S: Been attending Quaker meeting recently, heard "A"'s announcement
there. Is curious about what to do during silent worship in Quaker
meeting. Has quite a hectic life at the moment, and would like to be
less flustered/anxious/irritable when things get difficult.
R: Would like greater present-moment awareness.
P: Knows "A" from Quaker meeting. Also curious about what should happen
during silent worship. Would like greater present-moment awareness.
A: So I'd like to start with a very simple habit, the habit of where we
put attention. This is a slight embellishment to basic meditation.
Attention is sort of like a dog. It jumps around, picks things up,
all mostly out of habit. And we're going to train it in the same way
that you can train a dog.
Now, when you train a dog to sit, you don't expect it to sit for 10
minutes straight at the start of the training. You give it tasks
which are within its capability, and reward it for completing those
tasks. To start with, you might reward it for sitting for three
seconds while you're standing next to it. Then you start gradually
stretching those conditions: once it can reliably sit for three
seconds, say 75% of the time, extend the time to four seconds... then
when you've reached 10 minutes, go back to a briefer time, and start
moving away from the dog until it's sitting while you're out of
sight, then start practicing with it in environments with more
enticing distractions, and so on. And we're going to train our
attention in the same way.
For this, we need a reward. The reward I'm going to teach you about
is joy. This is known as one of the four immeasurables in Buddhism,
the others are loving-friendliness, compassion and equanimity. These
are qualities of awakened mind, which are always present in every
moment of experience. One of the things I like about Buddhism is
that it suggests methods for training to connect with these
qualities. I mean in Christianity, you have loving-friendliness:
"Love your neighbor as yourself." OK, but how do I do that if my
neighbor's an asshole? Buddhism actually has a method for training
to do that.
So, let's practice joy. For this, first think of a scene which
brings you joy. It could be a child running through a park,
screaming with delight, or a foal taking his first step, a rocket
taking off, anything which brings you joy. "H", could you put that
cup of yours where everyone can see it? Now, everyone, get
comfortable and close your eyes. Think of the joyful scene, and
celebrate it. Notice all the physical and mental sensations involved
in the celebration. Now, open your eyes and celebrate the cup.
Enact the same physical and mental sensations you noticed in
celebrating the joyful scene. So, what was that like?
G: That's how I live my life!
S: Yeah, same here.
A: Wow, that's awesome! "R", you look a bit skeptical.
R: I was with you when celebrating the scene, but when you switched to
the cup it went flat.
A: That's OK, we'll need to go a bit slower... actually, no, we can do
the same thing, it just needs a shift in emphasis. [By the way, "R",
THANK YOU for raising this concern! It was a big help, just the kind
of feedback I need. -- A.]
OK, so let's tie this into the breath meditation. So, we're going to
start with what's called a one-breath meditation. All this requires
is that you rest attention on the breath for one in-and-out cycle.
So let's do that. Breathe in, breathe out. It's OK if thoughts and
feelings arise when you do this, as long as you're still aware of
breathing. Now, once you've done this, you've completed the task,
so celebrate it!
Let's try that for four or five breaths or so. Everyone get
comfortable again...
How was that?
R: I found I couldn't do the celebration in one breath.
A: That's fine. We're really interleaving two meditations, here. One
is basic meditation on the breath, the other is joy. Take whatever
time you need for the celebration component.
G(?): I thought I was doing the celebration wrong, and didn't know what
to do when that happened. Do I need to celebrate the celebration
when I get it right?
R: I had trouble celebrating the breath, same as I did with the cup.
A: That's no problem, just celebrate something else, like the joyful
scene you imagined in the joy meditation. The important thing here
is that it is a reward for completing the one-breath meditation task,
like, what do they call that in operant conditioning?
J: Positive reinforcement?
A: Right, thanks. As long as some joyful feeling is coming up after you
do the one-breath meditation, you're in good shape.
S: I was finding other stuff coming up while I was doing the one-breath
meditation. Do I still do the celebration if that happens?
A: Yes, that's fine. We're not trying to focus on the breath, here. As
long as there is some awareness of the breath for the duration,
you're doing it the right way.
S: So when we practice this, how should we go about it? Is there a
better time to do it?
A: Not really. Whatever is most comfortable in your schedule. Do about
100 iterations a day. The more iterations you can do in one sitting,
the better.
S: So, like 100 iterations in a sitting? What if we get off track?
A: Thanks, that brings us to the next component of this meditation.
It's fine if thoughts and feelings come up during the one-breath
meditations, but if you end up in a completely different world,
thinking about dinner, or whatever, and you have no awareness of the
breath, when you notice that and come back to the task, *** CELEBRATE
THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED TO THE PRESENT MOMENT, TOO. *** We're always
getting enchanted like that by these other worlds of future plans and
past events, and one of the goals of Buddhist practice is to bring an
end to that. So entering such a world then coming back from it is as
big an achievement as doing the one-breath meditations.
R: [Some question which led into where this is headed.]
A: Once we're reasonably fluent, with one-breath meditations, we can
start expanding. We can do two breath meditations, or expand the
range of sensations we attend to, say from the feeling of the breath
at the nostrils to tactile sensations in a larger range, and
eventually up to all physical and mental sensations.
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